


Curtain Call

by AnnaofAza



Series: There's Truth in Fiction [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean Bears The Mark of Cain, Discussion of feelings, Episode: s10e05 Fan Fiction, F/F, M/M, POV Castiel, Season/Series 10, Self-Acceptance, the finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 05:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2609945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaofAza/pseuds/AnnaofAza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The play may be over, but the situation isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Curtain Call

“You didn’t think I could handle it.”

Castiel tries to touch him, but Dean roughly throws his hand off his shoulder. Sam is behind them with the missing teacher and student, talking to them about this new world of gods and ghosts and monsters. They both look at Dean with something akin to fright in their eyes, and when Dean notices, he lets out a growl bordering on animalistic before storming off in the direction of the stage.

“Dean—“

“You know what, Cas? I don’t want to hear it.” Dean takes a deep breath, shuddering in place. His fists are clenched at his side. There is no more laughter in his eyes. “I know what I am, and I know that I don’t want to be that person. I’m not going to lose control like that ever again. I won’t.”

“Dean, even if you no longer possess the Blade—“

“Just say it, Cas. You don’t trust me. Go ahead and tell me the truth, why you’re _really_ staying around instead of tagging along with your angel chick brigade.”

It takes a lot more effort than he realizes to not drop his jaw. How could Dean not _know_ —even after all this time—he _thought_ —

“That’s not what Cas was—“ Sam now interrupts, going to stand beside him, but Dean whirls away from them both. Castiel and Sam watch him go with heavy hearts.

“It’s all right, Sam,” Castiel says wearily, even though it’s not.

“It’s not a crime to be worried about him. He’s been _itching_ for hunts, Cas, and I know my brother likes a good salt-and-burn once in a while, but it’s like he’s…” Sam pauses, trying to find the words. “like he’s craving something. It reminds me of…you know.”

Castiel knows. Sam had volunteered to take the area away from the stage, and with a glance at the dark-haired actress who portrayed Ruby, it’s obvious the play is as painful for Sam as it is for Dean. Having his mistakes brought to life in front of his eyes must be horrible. Sam hasn’t even talked about the incident ever since, nor has Dean, unless they get into one of their vicious, mudslinging fights.

The play stops after Stull. The audience is ignorant of Castiel’s own mistakes—betraying and hurting his friends, opening Purgatory, unleashing the Leviathans, causing the angels to fall—and that makes him feel contrasting emotions of relief and shame. He is no hero, and it’s true, about the old proverb: _the road to Hell is paved with good intentions._

He hears soft music from the stage and decides that he might as well catch the rest of the play. Dean is standing in the wings, face hidden by shadows.

Siobhan and Kristen are holding hands, surrounded by a spotlight. Off to the side, Marie is leaning against the Impala with a pretty blond girl.

“Jess,” Sam breathes. “That has to be Jess. But how—“

His comment is disrupted by a heartbroken gasp from Siobhan.

“No! Don’t go, please. I nearly lost Sammy, and I can’t—I can’t lose you, too.”

Kristen sorrowfully shakes her head, pulling away, and Castiel swallows when Siobhan tries to take her hands again. “I’m sorry, Dean. I have to go back to Heaven. It’s chaos up there, and someone needs to set it right.”

“So.” Siobhan says softly, resigned. “This is goodbye?”

“Not forever.” Kristen is beginning to walk away now, the spotlight following her every step. Sam is looking at Castiel with sympathy in his eyes, but Castiel is still watching, helpless, at the sidelines.

 _“I’ll just wait here, then.”_ Siobhan then sings, a reprise of Kristen’s first song. Kristen turns, slowly, eyes reflecting astonishment. Castiel waits, breath held in his throat.

 _“I’ll just wait here, for you,”_ the other girl continues, lingering on the last note.

Kristen steps forward and places her hands on Siobhan’s shoulders. Castiel looks to the crowd. The audience is spell-bound. He can’t see Dean’s face.

 _“I will come, to you,”_ Kristen sings, and leans in.

Castiel knows it’s unscripted. Castiel knows these two girls are in love in a way he and Dean will never be. Castiel knows that he and Dean have too much between them, and they will never be as carefree as Kristen and Siobhan.

The two kiss under the spotlight, and as the last note from the piano fades, there’s spontaneous applause.

Some of the people—whom Castiel guesses are the parents—are either gaping openly or slowly clapping, but both the students and those who appear to be the teachers, simply cheer and start another round of applause. Sam, beside him, claps, and Castiel does, too, slowly.

Dean does not clap. 

* * *

 Marie only sighs when someone comes up to her about her _bold choice_ at the end of the play. “I thought something like this would happen.” But she doesn’t seem upset at all. She and Maeve giggle and accept compliments from the audience, thanking each and every one of them for attending. Banquets of flowers are being given out, and Castiel sees Siobhan talking in a low voice to a man with similar coloring. Kristen, beside her with her own parents and siblings, is smiling.

Castiel watches as the two girls hug before parting for the night. They’re reluctant to leave each other, but Siobhan whispers something in Kristen’s ear, making her laugh and playfully shove her away.

He hasn’t realized that Dean is behind him, seeing all of this, too.

“We’re leaving,” Dean says, without looking at him. “The play’s over.” 

* * *

It’s a tense-filled ride back to the bunker. No one speaks at all, except for one time, in which Sam asks Dean to slow down because even though it looked like an open road, the speed that they were traveling was dangerous. Dean tightens his hands on the wheel, turns on the radio, and allows the too-loud sounds of classic rock to prevent further conversation.

They later unload all the belongings, all wanting to go to bed and put the day past them, but when Castiel mutters that he should have eaten the hamburger earlier, Dean cooks a quick late dinner—scrambled eggs and toast. Sam takes his into his room. Dean, seeing that the kitchen only contained himself and Castiel, had also decided to retire to his room. Castiel ends up sitting alone at the table, forcing himself to choke down his food, no matter how delicious Dean’s homemade meals are. He only tastes molecules and grease and bitterness and saltiness, remembering what Dean once told him about cooking: _Mom always said that the best kind of food is made with love._

He doesn’t taste love. He tastes anger and self-loathing, and it’s _his_ fault.

Castiel finishes his food and begins rinsing his utensils and plate in the sink. The bunker has a very faulty dishwasher, and Dean, when there are long afternoons with no hunts, rolls up his sleeves and simply does the load by himself. He loves seeing Dean like this, safe and content in a home he’d made for himself. Castiel has noticed that Dean is more relaxed in the bunker, falling into a little routine, with the only problems to deal with are dirty dishes, messy desks, and fighting over which movie to watch.

A forceful voice comes from the hallway, and Castiel’s not surprised to hear that the source is none other than Dean.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Dean—“

“I’m going to wash up and go to _bed_ , Sam. In the morning, we’re going to sleep in and find another hunt. End of discussion.” Castiel stills when he hears Dean’s footsteps stomp into the kitchen. He’s still wearing the heavy boots, and they manage to sound as irate as its owner. Dean comes to stop behind him, but as his hands are full with dirty dishes, he can’t simply drop them on the floor and leave.

“Cas. You’re still up?”

“I was just finishing up.” Castiel replies, placing last of his dishes on the drying rack.

“You don’t have to do that.” Dean takes over the sink, practically forcing him out of the way.

“I _wanted_ to.”

The elder Winchester closes his eyes, setting down the rag and plate in the sink and turning to face Castiel.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he admits. “I never wanted you to.”

Castiel sighs. “Neither did I.”

Dean doesn’t look at him and shuffles his feet. Castiel thinks he’s lost Dean again, but the other shakes his head and steps forward. “Damn it. I--You leave me. You always do. Then, now…you want stay. Even after what I did, as demon, for one. Why?”

Castiel sighs again. “Dean. Do you really not understand?”

Dean does, and Castiel hates the look on his face, cursing himself for not realizing it all before. He’s _afraid. He's known, but has denied it. He thinks he's undeserving._

“You _can’t_. I’m a monster. I still have the Mark of Cain, and you're right. Sam is right. I’m not strong enough—“

“No," Castiel injects firmly. "Listen to me, Dean Winchester: is Cain a monster? Has he killed people?”

Before Dean opens his mouth, Castiel raises his hand to forestall his words. “I meant after Colette, Dean. Has he killed people since?”

Dean’s quiet for a very long time. “No,” he finally says, seeming to look at Castiel for the first time, startled realization in his eyes. "But I feel the need, Cas. I'll..."

"No, you won't. Dean, you're a strong person, and you will triumph over this. You have Sam." Castiel then adds: "And me."

Dean's shoulders slump in relief, and Castiel takes them in his grasp, steadying him.

“Cain had a choice, as you have yours. You can figure this out, Dean. _We_ can figure this out. Together.”

Dean breathes out, closing his eyes. Castiel can see the emotions wage a war on his face. _Can he? Can he do this?_

When he finally opens them, he looks at Castiel and places his hands on Castiel’s shoulders. “I think me and Siobhan have something else in common.”

Castiel knows what it is, and for the first time, he leans in and kisses the person he loves most in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I wrote all of this in (mostly) a day. Thank you all so much for reading this! You can find me on tumblr as AnnaofAza.


End file.
